Some of us don’t find it easy to talk with others.
Now, if you find it easy to chat with anybody, anywhere, anytime, this may seem unthinkable. But it’s true… there are folks who’d rather crawl over broken glass than have to stand and chat at a party or other social function. For them, it’s torture.
It doesn’t have to be that way, however. In this guest article, Social Skills Expert Peter Murphy explains how to build your confidence and talk with others as easily as any "natural born" socializer.
6 EASY WAYS TO DEVELOP SOCIAL SKILLS
Everyone wants to shine and be accepted by people. If your goal is to achieve a successful life, personal and career, you will need the help of others. And, to feel accepted and get along well with others, you need to focus on developing your social skills to win more attention.
For someone who is just starting to develop his or her social skills, here are some tips to consider:
1. Have A Ready Smile Always
A person with an approachable outlook is likely to draw people who smile back and start talking. A gloomy face causes individuals to backslide and feel cautious that you might not be open for a chat.
2. Have Simple Start Up Conversation Questions Ready
Questions like age, status in life, school last attended or anything about family. You may also think of ready answers that may come along the way, questions you think might be asked that are occasion related.
3. Take An Interest In The Conversation
Do not show boredom towards the person you are talking to. Be responsible for taking interest in what the person is talking about. It is your fault if you are getting bored as you do have a hand in making it more interesting by asking interesting follow up questions.
4. Get Involved And Stay Focused
Be attentive to the person you are talking to and use give and take listening and follow-up questions to liven and explore the conversation. Apply your verbal and non-verbal skills. Ask appropriate questions based on related topics being talked about, set your vocal tone and quality and apply bodily movements if necessary to display your feelings.
Nodding of the head, smiles and eye-to-eye contact are non-verbal gestures. Both verbal and non- verbal social skills make the conversation valuable. Your partner will have the feeling that you give due importance to his/her topic, thus giving both of you the feeling of acceptance.
5. Be Ready To Adapt To Situations
If at some point in your conversation, out of the blue, someone tries to butt in and totally twist the topic - adapt to the change. You need to have some flexibility when you are in a group gathering. This will help you to get more accepted by the others. Flexibility is one thing people look for when having a conversation.
6. Choose To Feel Relaxed
There may be times when you will run out of topics to discuss, and get worried about what to say next. Well, relax and let the conversation go as it is. As the saying goes: go with the flow.
Nobody will notice you if you just sit out when there are opportunities to speak up. Make sure to get involved so that your finer qualities and potential are noticed.
These tips to develop social skills will guide you towards the achievements of your goals. Expand your networking. Remember that success is not all about money but also about the number of friends you have made and how you live your life. Get out there and apply these social skills tips as you socialize.
Friday 5 October 2007
Define your goals
"The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them."Denis Watley
I like this quote it defines 4 primary tools for reaching your goals. You have to define your goals, believe in your goals, develop a plan, and find your partners. You can do a search through thousands of goal setting articles, and they’ll all tell you to define your goals. They’ll tell you the importance of setting goals and being specific about them. They don’t always cover the other important elements.
Let’s look at each element.
Define Your Goals: Set specific goals. This of course means you say exactly how much you want to earn and when. If you want to lose weight, you may set it that you want to lose 31 pounds. You also make sure to set milestones along the way. It may be to lose 5 pounds this month on the way to your larger goals. So you set a long term goal, and short term goals on the road to achieving that bigger one.
Believe Your Goals: The second step is you have to BELIEVE your goal. If you’ve ever wondered why New Year’s resolutions are such a recipe for failure, this is one of the causes right here. If you just see your goals as things you’re hoping for, then it’s no wonder you give up and quit on them. It has to be something you believe…and it has to be real to you. Sit down and imagine it as real today. See it happening. Every morning think about where you’re going and what it will be like when you get there. Keep your focus on reaching the goal instead of the pain you may feel on the way there (change is always a little painful).
Set a Plan: What’s the plan? Let’s say you have a business goal of reaching $20,000 a month gross profit. If your primary product sells for $100, then we know you need to sell 200 copies. That means you need to average just under 7 copies of the product per day. If your website has a conversion rate of 2%, then we need 350 visitors per day. What is your plan for generating those 350 visitors per day? It could be Google Adwords, affiliate programs, social networking, etc. The key isn’t which techniques you use…it’s that you have a step-by-step daily plan to reach your goals. My favorite method is to figure out the goal and then work backwards to figure out what needs to happen to reach that goal every day.
Who Will Help You: This is another aspect that people leave out of their goal setting process. Trying to do it all yourself is a huge mistake. Who can help you? On that weight loss goal, it could be your spouse who helps. It may be your friends who you ask to monitor you. It could simply be an online forum where you post your goals and your plan…and ask them to keep track on you. At business conferences I tell people that they must pick a "partner" at the conference who they give the right to call them and ask them if they’re taking the step to achieve. You have to have accountability to someone…or else you’re going to quit.
In addition to the accountability, who can help you? In the weight loss goal, it could be a personal trainer. On your business goals, it could be your outsourced workers. It may be your joint venture partners. Who is it that is going to help you achieve what you’re looking for. In my profit example above, it could be your affiliates who are your partners in reaching your goals. Having a team to help you is part of your goal setting and planning process.
If we were to make a football comparison, the endzone is our goal for our offensive team. We want to score. Every player on the field knows that’s where we’re going. We have to rely on our teammates to help us reach our goal. We get a first down every ten yards…and that’s our short term goal. Each down we have a plan from our playbook that we’re following towards both our short-term (first down) and our long term goal (the endzone). Not only that, but we have an entire stadium cheering us on (our accountability).
Do you have each of those elements in your goal setting plan?
I like this quote it defines 4 primary tools for reaching your goals. You have to define your goals, believe in your goals, develop a plan, and find your partners. You can do a search through thousands of goal setting articles, and they’ll all tell you to define your goals. They’ll tell you the importance of setting goals and being specific about them. They don’t always cover the other important elements.
Let’s look at each element.
Define Your Goals: Set specific goals. This of course means you say exactly how much you want to earn and when. If you want to lose weight, you may set it that you want to lose 31 pounds. You also make sure to set milestones along the way. It may be to lose 5 pounds this month on the way to your larger goals. So you set a long term goal, and short term goals on the road to achieving that bigger one.
Believe Your Goals: The second step is you have to BELIEVE your goal. If you’ve ever wondered why New Year’s resolutions are such a recipe for failure, this is one of the causes right here. If you just see your goals as things you’re hoping for, then it’s no wonder you give up and quit on them. It has to be something you believe…and it has to be real to you. Sit down and imagine it as real today. See it happening. Every morning think about where you’re going and what it will be like when you get there. Keep your focus on reaching the goal instead of the pain you may feel on the way there (change is always a little painful).
Set a Plan: What’s the plan? Let’s say you have a business goal of reaching $20,000 a month gross profit. If your primary product sells for $100, then we know you need to sell 200 copies. That means you need to average just under 7 copies of the product per day. If your website has a conversion rate of 2%, then we need 350 visitors per day. What is your plan for generating those 350 visitors per day? It could be Google Adwords, affiliate programs, social networking, etc. The key isn’t which techniques you use…it’s that you have a step-by-step daily plan to reach your goals. My favorite method is to figure out the goal and then work backwards to figure out what needs to happen to reach that goal every day.
Who Will Help You: This is another aspect that people leave out of their goal setting process. Trying to do it all yourself is a huge mistake. Who can help you? On that weight loss goal, it could be your spouse who helps. It may be your friends who you ask to monitor you. It could simply be an online forum where you post your goals and your plan…and ask them to keep track on you. At business conferences I tell people that they must pick a "partner" at the conference who they give the right to call them and ask them if they’re taking the step to achieve. You have to have accountability to someone…or else you’re going to quit.
In addition to the accountability, who can help you? In the weight loss goal, it could be a personal trainer. On your business goals, it could be your outsourced workers. It may be your joint venture partners. Who is it that is going to help you achieve what you’re looking for. In my profit example above, it could be your affiliates who are your partners in reaching your goals. Having a team to help you is part of your goal setting and planning process.
If we were to make a football comparison, the endzone is our goal for our offensive team. We want to score. Every player on the field knows that’s where we’re going. We have to rely on our teammates to help us reach our goal. We get a first down every ten yards…and that’s our short term goal. Each down we have a plan from our playbook that we’re following towards both our short-term (first down) and our long term goal (the endzone). Not only that, but we have an entire stadium cheering us on (our accountability).
Do you have each of those elements in your goal setting plan?
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